I just had to delete a test virtual machine because I forgot the login and password.

I just deleted….an entire computer. Because I forgot the password.

Some things just never change.

"The closest we can get to absolutely secure machine is one unplugged from the network, power supply, locked in a safe, and thrown at the bottom of the ocean. Unfortunately, it isn’t terribly useful in this state."

Matt Curtin “Introduction to Network Security”

surejohn221b:

galehawthorne:

isn’t your first birthday technically your second

i am going to be up all night thinking about this

It’s just zero-indexed.

(via eeddiee)

"It can be proved mathematically that a robot with more information never makes worse decisions. But we are not robots. Our eyes don’t filigree the world with coordinates and probabilities, and they can be blinded by tears."

Emma Pierson, NY Times

Things I Overheard In the Computer Lab Tonight That Made Me Question My Decision to Major In Computer Science Simply Due to the Company I Will be Forced to Associate with for the Rest of My Life.

Programming Languages: In layman’s terms, what are the major programming languages, and what are they used for?

appliedmathemagics:

(reposted from this Quora answer because it’s just great)

Programmers have a surprisingly intimate relationship with the programming languages they use. Your programming language will frustrate you, and enlighten you. Over time you will learn your programming language’s inner workings and little quirks. It will get inside your head, too, and change the way your mind works. 

Choose the right programming language and together you will create something new and beautiful. Choose wrongly and things can get very messy indeed.

In other words, choosing a programming language is much like choosing a romantic partner…

(Note: I’m a straight guy. If you’re not, feel free to do a mental find/replace with whatever you’re into).

PHP is your teenage sweetheart, the girl you first awkwardly fumbled around with that one summer. Just don’t try and start a more serious relationship - this girl has serious issues.

Perl is PHP’s older sister. She might be a bit old for you, but she was pretty popular back in the 90s. In a long-term relationship with Larry Wall, so her standards have dropped, and she’s looking seriously fugly now. “I don’t care what y’all say, I still love her!”, he says. No-one else does.

Ruby is the cool kid of the scripting family. When you first saw her, she took your breath away with her beauty. She was fun, too. At the time she seemed a bit slow and ditzy - though she’s matured a lot in the last few years.

Python is Ruby’s more sensible sister. She’s elegant, classy, and sophisticated. She’s perhaps too perfect. Most guys are like “dude, how can you not like Python!?”. Sure, you like Python. You just consider her the boring version of the edgy and romantic Ruby.

Java is a successful career woman. Some people who’ve worked with her feel she owes her position less to ability and more to her knack for impressing the middle-management types. You might feel that she’s the sensible type you should settle down with. Just prepare for years of “NO THAT DOESNT GO THERE GOD YOU ALWAYS USE THE WRONG TYPE INTERFACE AND YOU MISSED A SEMICOLON” nagging.

C++ is Java’s cousin. Similar to Java in many ways, the main difference being she grew up in a more innocent time and doesn’t believe in using protection. By “protection”, I mean automatic memory management, of course. What did you think I meant?

C is C++’s mom. Mention her name to some old grey beard hackers and they’re sure to reminisce with a twinkle in their eye.

Objective C is another member of the C family. She joined that weird church a while back, and won’t date anyone outside of it.

Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their friends are those hipster, artsy, intellectual girls you probably spent a blissful college summer with a few years ago. The first girls who really challenged you. Of course, it could never have become something more serious (you tell yourself). Though you’ll always be left asking “what if?”

You might be put off C# due to her family’s reputation. But they’ve gone legit, the last few years, they tell you. Once you’re one of us, you’re one of us, you hear? You need a database? Her brother MSSQL will hook you up. Need a place to stay? Heck, her daddy will even buy you your own mansion on Azure avenue. What’s that, you’re having second thoughts about all these overly friendly relatives? No, you can never leave. You’re part of the family, now, ya hear?

Javascript - hey, wasn’t that the girl you first kissed, way before even PHP came on the scene? I wonder what she’s doing now. I hear her career’s really taken off in the last few years. Would be cool to catch up some time, if only for old time’s sake… (You catch sight of her, dressed head to toe in designer jQuery)… wow, somebody grew into a beautiful swan…

(via loveablegeek)

thepessimisticbear:

#FF0000 thE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
#000000 THE DARK OF AGES PAST
#FF0000 A WORLD ABOUT TO DAWN
#000000 THE NIGHT THAT ENDS AT LAST

(Source: teen-zouis, via ultrafeast)

This is how geeky I can get with my friends

my life as a computer scientist right here. All of it.

(Source: gcatherinev, via fuckyesonceuponatime)

berkeleybyte:

Google Doodle celebrates Ada Lovelace —> Link to WP

“She imagined, for example, that computers could be used to compose music — something Google refers to in its doodle, which traces the path of computing from Lovelace’s quill to laptop and tablet composition.”

Truly, a woman ahead of her times. 

I was so happy to see Ada Lovelace as the Google doodle.

(Source: berkeleybyte)

Why Javascript Sucks (A Explanation Of My Grievances In a Style Allowing English Majors to Join in on the Hate)

1. It takes java’s name in vain.

You know what the name ‘javascript’ says to you? It says “I am a script based heavily off the language java.” You know what the documentation for javascript says to you? “My developer was sitting outside in the rain coding this while playing the ‘take a shot for every semi-colon’ drinking game.” 

It is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING like java. What does it get from java? Semi-colons at the end of expressions and other grammar-like syntaxes.

2. Half-assed typecasting.

Static typing is when you note what type of variable you have next to your variable. Like, if you’re doing algebra, all your variables will eventually be replaced with numbers, yes? Or perhaps integers. In the case of integers, you would tell the computer: int x. This means: “Dear Computer, if I ever try to put anything other than an integer in this variable, slap me shitless.”

Java does static typing. Javascript does not….except for one case. Whenever you make a variable, you have to half-assedly typecast it ‘var’. Like, how does that help? If you’ve decided not to type anything, stick with it! Bro, we both know this is a variable. You know what I can’t remember? WHAT’S INSIDE THE VARIABLE! Is this supposed to hold a list or a number or a letter? I don’t know! You know, but you won’t tell me because….

3. It can’t debug for shit.

Debugging is when the computer comes back to you and goes: “Master, I was trying complete the task you assigned to me. However, I reached this line and everything went kaput.”  

Javascript doesn’t do that. No. If you get one thing wrong in javascript, your whole piece of code will tear itself into tiny shreds in front of your face laughing maniacally while you wonder where you went wrong. Oh, your browser will tell you sometimes. But only sometimes.

backonamission-deactivated20130 asked: In the world of programming boyfriends, Vim is the guy you can tweak to your own liking :D

Switching from a text editor to a good IDE is like going from having a deadbeat boyfriend to an extremely polite one. You know, I don’t need you to open doors for me or help me carry stuff, but dear lord, you are so helpful.

The guys I was working with did not appreciate my metaphor.
Well, sucks for them. An IDE is the closest I’ll ever get to a boyfriend anyway. 

I hate this waiting.

As a female in computer science I’m always waiting.

For the first time someone discriminates against me because I’m a girl.

Because they all warn you about it. They say to stay on your guard.

I’m so tired of waiting. Of preparing witty retorts in my head. Of overthinking everything other people say or do.

Why can’t we all just be socially awkward together?

Business Majors

This business major posted on the UC Berkeley EECS* facebook page asking for some help with web development. I emailed her saying that I was interested. At first we emailed back and forth a lot, but at some point she just stopped responding. That was weird to me because at first she had the turn-around of about 5 hours and then…..nothing.

Finally, today, a month later, she emails me saying that she’s been trying to do the web development on her own and asking to see any work that I’ve done and wondering if I do any graphic design.

Looks like she finally realized that web development really isn’t that easy, lol.

*Electrical Engineering and Computer Science